People start blogging for many reasons – it’s their passion or hobby, they like to share their thoughts, they love reviews and want to share their opinions. We all have our personal reason for it. Some people blog about beauty products, some about travel and others publishing delicious recipes. Over a past few weeks so many people have asked me that one question – why did I start? Well, the story is pretty elaborate and for some – interesting.
I was 14 years old when I started writing. I had a huge crush on the band One Direction, especially on Harry Styles. Oh, how I adored those curly hair and dimples in the cheeks. I adored him more than anything in my life. I listened to this band’s music everyday, non-stop. Sometimes my mum would be mad at me because instead of learning I’d just lay in bed and fantasise about Harry. His face was everywhere I went. Posters were staring at me from my walls. I even had him on my phone wallpaper.
One day, I wrote in my diary. It was supposed to be a normal entry but turned out a little different. I wrote a short story about me and Harry. Of course, it was about marriage (because what else the 14 year old would want from her biggest idol and crush?). I thought it was pretty good so I took the diary to school and gave the story to read to one of my best friends at the time. She loved One Direction too. And she loved my story. We decided that I will create a blog and publish a story for everyone to read.
It was pretty popular, once I shared it with all of my Twitter friends that loved the band. I’ve got loads of comments and likes and almost 2000 views per day. It was going great until I lost any inspiration and got stuck. I had no idea how to continue the story, what to do with characters and eventually I’d delete a whole blog because of it. Stupid, I know. I’ve lost so many chapters and so much creativity was gone with a blink of an eye. And I would do it with every story I have written.
And it wasn’t because I was starting to lose the need to write. I was still writing a lot, and it wasn’t only about Harry anymore. I created my own fictional characters and I would write the story about them but then I’d lose the whole point of the story somehow. Some of it probably had potential to be a book but I just never really could finish it. There were times where I re-write one chapter so many times that in the end it didn’t make sense. I didn’t know what the problem was at the age of fourteen, but I know it now. It was pretty simple.
I wasn’t really writing about something I love. Yes, at the time Harry was my love and I thought that I can write a whole book and become a writer but it was impossible. I didn’t have that much passion about it. Even though my head was always wrapped around Styles and his voice and looks – it wasn’t enough. Mostly, my stories made me kind of depressed because deep down I knew that it won’t happen and I knew that I have 0% chance of meeting him in real life as I was living in Poland and he was busy in United Kingdom. I knew it’s not real and it made me sad.
When I get to sixteen I started writing again. This time, again, I had my own characters and a whole plot figured out. I have written almost two hundred chapters which was my record and it again felt like I can do it, like I can be a writer. But my burning idea was quickly turned to ashes because I stopped. And it wasn’t because I didn’t have an inspiration but mostly because of my exams and too much homework. I simply didn’t have time. So the story was abandoned for a couple of months.
By the time I finished school, my inspiration burned out again and I didn’t feel like writing anymore. It was all about singing now. Somewhere deep in my heart I knew I still want to write but it wasn’t enough to get me going. So I spent most of my days singing and listening to my mum moaning about my weight and looks (that’s how typically my day went).
By the age of twenty I slowly discovered myself more and more. I found out that I love working with kids. I found out that I am much more creative than I thought I was. I also discovered the part of myself that I thought I’d never do – the part of me that loved me for me. It was the best feeling in the world. And I finally started to be happy. Happy with myself.
One day, I thought about writing as a hobby. It was right before my sister’s birthday, I remember that clearly. But this time I didn’t want to write stories or I wasn’t thinking about writing a book. I thought I could share my love with people from other continents. Maybe I will succeed as a blog writer or influencer?
That’s how I created Positively Me. I write about something that gives me the strength to be myself everyday. I love helping people and that’s what I feel I am doing when I write posts here. I help people see things differently, especially about their bodies. I feel like I am doing the best in my life. I am playworker full-time and blogger part-time and I am the happiest I’ve even been.
That’s pretty much a whole story. I know, it’s silly sometimes but that’s what made me who I am right now. And I think I should thank all of you, who are actually reading my posts and helped me achieve my goals in less than two weeks! It’s almost unbelievable! So THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! You’re amazing and loved.